Learning to Speak Your Truth: Anxiety Therapy and Communication Skills

Dana, 41, adjusted her bag on her lap as she sat in her therapist’s office.

She was composed and polite, but her voice held a familiar hesitancy when she spoke.

“I think I need to work on my relationships,” she began, sitting comfortably but with a subtle tension in her voice. “Things just feel... off. Especially with my husband, but it’s not only him. It’s, like, everyone. I don’t know.”

"Tell me more. When you say ‘off,’ what does that look like for you?” The therapist asked.

Dana paused as if searching for the right words. “I guess it’s like... I don’t feel heard? Or maybe understood? I don’t know. For example, last week I told my husband about this stressful thing at work, and he sort of brushed it off. He said something like, ‘That sucks,’ and moved on. It surprised me—I thought he’d care more."

Her therapist nodded, encouraging her to keep going.

Dana frowned. “It’s not like he’s doing anything wrong, exactly. It’s more like... I don’t know how to get him to respond differently. It’s confusing, and then I feel disappointed.”

As the session unfolded, Dana’s words painted a vivid picture—not of what her problem was, but of her struggle to articulate it.

Discovering the Role of Anxiety

As their sessions continued, Dana’s therapist began to gently point out patterns in how she spoke.

“I notice you use words like ‘sort of,’ ‘I guess,’ and ‘I don’t know’ when we talk about these situations,” her therapist said one day. “That’s really common when we feel unsure or anxious about what’s happening. What do you think is behind that?”

Dana tilted her head, considering the question. “I guess I don’t really trust my feelings,” she admitted. “Like, what if I’m overreacting? Or what if I’m wrong? It feels safer to keep it vague.”

The therapist nodded. “That makes sense. It sounds like your anxiety is stepping in to protect you from discomfort—but it might also be keeping you from being fully understood by the people in your life.”

For Dana, this was a revelation. She had always thought her husband, family, and friends just didn’t listen to her, but now she was starting to see how her own communication patterns were playing a role.

Understanding Anxiety Patterns in Communication

As Dana grew more aware of her tendencies, she and her therapist began unpacking the specific ways her anxiety shaped her interactions:

1. Generalization: Dana often spoke in broad terms, describing her struggles as “relationship issues” or “things feeling off.” This made it hard for others to know how to respond.

2. Hypothetical Speech: Phrases like “I guess,” “maybe,” and “sort of” reflected her fear of being too direct or wrong, which diluted the strength of her message.

3. “I Don’t Know”: Dana frequently defaulted to this phrase, avoiding clarity and deflecting attention from deeper feelings.

4. Cover Words: Describing emotions as “confused” or “surprised” kept her from naming the more vulnerable feelings of anger, or sadness.

   
   

These patterns weren’t intentional, but they were deeply tied to her anxiety—a way of avoiding conflict or rejection by keeping her communication safe and noncommittal.

Transforming Through Anxiety Therapy

Through anxiety therapy and communication skills training, Dana began learning to shift these patterns. Her therapist encouraged her to practice being more specific and direct, both in their sessions and in her everyday conversations.  

• Name her emotions clearly: Instead of saying “I was confused,” she practiced saying “I felt angry when he dismissed my work stress.”

• Replace uncertainty with confidence: Letting go of phrases like “I guess” and “I don’t know,” she began to state her feelings and needs more directly.

• Set boundaries: She worked on expressing what she needed from others without fear of conflict or rejection.

The process wasn’t easy, and there were moments when Dana doubted herself. But her therapist supported her through the moments of grief. Over time, Dana found that her clarity not only helped her feel more grounded but also led to better responses from her loved ones.  

“For the first time,” Dana shared in a later session, “I feel like people actually hear me. I used to think they didn’t care, but now I see that I wasn’t giving them much to work with. It’s amazing how different things feel when I’m clear.”

Are You Ready to Unpack Anxiety’s Role in Your Life?  

Do you find yourself saying “I don’t know,” “maybe,” or “sort of” in conversations? Is it hard to identify and express exactly what you’re feeling or what you need? Or maybe it’s a different anxiety pattern that you just can’t quite put your finger on.

Anxiety therapy can help you unpack these patterns and understand how they show up in your life. Together, we’ll work on practical, insightful strategies to help you express yourself clearly, improve your communication, and build stronger connections with the people you care about.

Call today to start your journey toward greater clarity, confidence, and connection.